Notes to Self...and whoever's listening

Ah, the first snow.  My nephew's joy eclipsed mine - by just a little bit.  He loves snow so much!  Listening to his squeal and then watching his eyes light up was sweet to watch.  Such beauty to behold - in him and the snow! As I drove to work, I was struck by how the seasons collided overnight.  Yesterday boasted leaves fluttering to the ground from nearly barren trees.  Today, those trees were lined in white and the fallen leaves were covered in a blanket of snow.  Seasons collided. This visual brought to mind Ecclesiastes 3:1-8: There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrai...

About a month and a half ago, we celebrated my nephew's 1/2 birthday.  Yep, I'm that crazy aunt who, six years ago, started making half cakes for the boys and celebrating them on their half birthdays.  The older nephew isn't a huge cake fan so his mom would often find a half of cherry pie at Walmart and we'd celebrate with that.  This year the day snuck up on us and we didn't make it to Walmart.  So while he was at soccer, his brother and I went up to the little neighborhood grocery store to see what we could find.  They had huge frozen pies that I would have to bake, but we had no choice.  I stuck it in the oven, put a pan below it to catch the drips and waited for him to get home. It all went well, we enjoyed the pie and celebrating him.  The End. Wait...just kidding... THAT day all ended well.  It wasn't until about a week or two later that a problem that began that night, but had gone undetected, made itself known. The pan that had b...

If you've grown up in the church like I have, you've heard those words many times.  And, if you've had the same experiences in church, when the pastor started speaking this verse, amen's rose up all throughout the sanctuary, especially when they would say, "O death, where is your victory?"  But, I can tell you where the sting is... It was in the face of my Grandma when her sweet husband passed away after a long illness in June. It was in the face of a dear friend when her husband of 68 years breathed his last breath on her birthday. It was in the cries of a 10 year old daughter upon finding her father on the floor after a massive heart attack. It was in the shock of a new wife having to decide that the merciful thing to do for her husband is stop life support. It was in the faces of a mother and aunt trying to tell the mother's children that their friend's father was very sick and not likely to make it. It is in the anguish of four childr...

This baseball was at my dad's house months ago.  We have no idea what happened to it, just that it was coming apart at the seams.  I found it interesting and immediately knew that it would be a blog post at some point.  That's how my mind works.  It tucks things away for later. Baseball, as I've mentioned before, has always been a part of my life.  If I wasn't watching it on t.v., rooting on the Kansas City Royals as a kid in Missouri, various minor league teams in Illinois, or eventually re-finding my love of the New York Yankees, I was at the ball park all summer watching my dad, my siblings and eventually my nephews.  I love this game. And without the ball, the game would be nothing.  It would be worthless.  Everything revolves around it. A baseball measures between 9 and 9 1/4 inches in circumference and weighs between 5 and 5 1/4 ounces.  Not much to it, really.  But HOW it's made is a big deal!  Take a look: How a Ba...

Me & Grandpa Bill I met Bill years ago at the church I used to attend.  He and his wife, Vivian, were the sweetest couple around.  Warm, inviting and smiles that spread clear through a room.  I was in the midst of trying new churches so I didn't get to know them very well, but each time I returned to that church, they were the first ones to greet me.  Several years later I returned to the church for a few years.  During that time, I wrote and directed a few plays and Bill was always willing to do whatever he could to be a part.  Such a faithful ham! :)  He would make us laugh every practice. It was during those plays that I drew closer to Bill and Vivian and finally one day shamelessly asked if I could be adopted by them because I didn't have grandparents anymore.  They quickly obliged and became my grandparents. ❤ Fast forward to Christmas of 2016.  I can't remember who called who, but someone reached out and we ended up having d...

Baseball: America's Pastime. And for families across the country, it becomes a constant trek to the ballpark to watch their athlete perform.  Oh, so many treks.  So many innings of practices endured.  So many games to attend.  So many annoying parents to try to ignore.   But, for all the frustrating moments, there are the amazing ones: first hits, great catches, bases stolen (yeah, that sounded weird to me, too!), close plays and the excitement of your athlete's face after accomplishing any of those things. I've grown up in a baseball/softball family.  My parents took us to a bunch of Kansas City Royals games as a kid and even lost my brother at a New York Mets game once!  (No worries, he was found watching people going up and down the escalators!)  When we moved to Rockford, we went to minor league games then my younger siblings started softball through Ken-Rock.  Fast forward several years and some of those siblings had kids who ...

March 17, 2015.  To most, this was just another Saint Patrick's Day.  Most probably don't remember that specific date.  But, I do. That was the date I ended up in the ER with my first and, thankfully only, full blown panic attack.  For weeks leading up to that date, I was finding myself short of breath with a heart racing so fast, I thought I would pass out sometimes.  I would attempt to calm myself by deep breathing and often resorted to putting my hand over my heart and just applying pressure.  And I did a lot of praying. By March 17th, I couldn't take it anymore.  I finally admitted to my mom what I had been going through.  She called her nurse friend who had me go take my blood pressure.  I don't remember the numbers, but they were extremely high and she told me to go in somewhere.   I spent the afternoon and evening in the ER, first hooked up to an EKG to be sure I wasn't having a heart attack.  Nope.  All good....

My dad shared this video with me recently and I feel in love with it all over again.  It is one I've seen before, but watching it again was beautiful. In my bible study group recently, we discussed how it is impossible to trust someone that you don't know.  Most people (though we all know that one person that would) don't immediately tell someone everything about their life upon your first meeting.  You probably don't tell that person a lot even in the next few meetings.  You get to know the person.  You learn about them, what they like to do, their family, dislikes, friends, etc.  We spend time getting to know them. Back to the sheep and their shepherd---watching this video was amazing.  These sheep knew better than to answer to anyone else, but their shepherd.  They knew his voice.  They knew his ways.  And they trusted him.  The second he started calling to them, their heads lifted.  HE was their guide.  They hav...

I TRY to stay out of the fray.  I really do.  I find myself biting my tongue a lot, passing posts on social media and talking myself down all the time .  Ask my sister.  She has the ability to see it, pass it and move on.  I don't. Today's big issue I've run across that, for the life of me, I can NOT leave alone, is the controversy surrounding the new movie, Show Dogs.  Here is the link that caused the dust up:  https://foreverymom.com/arts-entertainment/dog-show-movie-review-grooming/  . Okay.  You read that right?  Let's continue. We all know what they're talking about when they have to "inspect" the dogs.  That happens in every dog show.  I always thought it was weird, but knew that was what they did and let it go at that.  Now, I do completely agree that they didn't need to accentuate this aspect and it does sound like they took it too far.  Lots of movies for kids take it a step or two too far in attempts t...

Last February I spent the month stressed and worried about what I was supposed to be doing with my life.  I was working full-time as an assistant to an attorney, working part-time as a Thirty-One Consultant and part-time as a Chaplain at a retirement home.  Plus, my life as an aunt, sister and daughter were pretty amazingly full and chaotic. Add trying to be a good friend and running a bible study and you could see where the stress was overwhelming. I prayed and prayed and the answer that finally came was not what I expected nor what I hoped.  The clear decision was to resign chaplaincy.  For 7 1/2 years, I got to know the most amazing bunch of seniors and the staff that cared for them. I laughed with them so hard, held their hands as they were dying, had long discussions about life, family and the past with them and prepared countless sermons to deliver for their Sunday services.  It was a job I loved dearly. I couldn’t understand why THIS was the best opti...

We like having choices.  Ice cream comes in just about every flavor imaginable, then you have to decide what type of cone or bowl!  Burgers have become gourmet dishes these days.  Even picking out a bottle water can take a while!  Then we have the Coke machines that have EVERY flavor available.  Ever get stuck behind someone trying to decide which flavor to choose all the while missing your movie???  Yeah, me either! We do NOT like having our choices limited, either.  Insurance companies seem to decide whether people get medications or procedures anymore, not the doctors and the patients themselves.  We do NOT like when costs go up leaving us no choice but to pay the higher fees.  Here in Illinois, we do NOT like being forced to pay tolls all throughout our state! You are given one specific choice daily.  That choice often decides the course of your day.  That choice can even change the course of someone else's day. We get to ...

Recently I took a day off and took the boys to Dave & Buster's near Schaumburg for some time away at the tail end of their Spring Break.  We left that morning, grabbed Dunkin Donuts and my very important large iced tea, picked up some new sandals for Lucas (that boy sure can wear through a pair of shoes!) and set off!  We had a ball playing games for a while, then had a great meal in the restaurant.  The boys enjoyed some special drinks they love to get when we go and I got more iced tea! It was a great day!  I LOVE spending time with these two and that day was perfect!  Even the highway wasn't too busy!  Once we got back to town, we made a quick stop at Target and, at the check out, I asked the boys if they were thirsty.  They chose a drink and I started looking for another tea.  Yeah, I love iced tea!  Since I gave up soda 2 years ago, iced tea is my go-to.  As I looked for the tea, though, I was drawn to a bottle of wat...

It is finished. (John 19:30) Three of the most haunting words in the Bible.   The last three words recorded before Jesus was overcome by death. And the three greatest words that were able to bring us life - eternal life. John 19:28-30 are very difficult passages to read.  The entire story is difficult.  I'm one who struggles to grasp the magnitude of evil and how anyone can knowingly inflict pain and harm on another living being.  I cringe at t.v. shows.  I have to close my eyes and wait for someone to tell me when it's okay to look again.   So reading this passage (and any of the other gospel accounts) kills me every time.  His murder was senseless in that His accusers were just jealous of Him and angry because they did not understand His purpose.  His murder was violent and merciless.  His treatment was inhumane. But, His death also shows a level of love that can never be repeated again. Verse 28 says, "Later, knowin...

The evolution of the Apostle Peter is nothing short of miraculous.  Today, a wise filmmaker might even consider making a movie about his life.   I'm no bible scholar and would never claim to be, but here is a little of what I personally know about him before he left behind his business and followed Jesus: *He was a fisherman, seemingly a successful one. *He had a brother and they both worked together. *He also worked with some other friends. *Acts 4:13 describes them as unschooled, ordinary men. A pretty average story for that time, I'd say.  But, then, Jesus walks by and his life starts down a path that even Hollywood couldn't make up. One day when he and his partners are out working, Jesus sees them and asks to use his boat (Luke 5) so he could teach the people.  The crowd had gathered and He needed to get off the land in order for everyone to hear Him.  Peter obliges.  When Jesus is all done, He notices that Peter isn't having any luck ca...

Reading in John these past several weeks has been enlightening.  I've read it through before, but I'm always excited when I find new things that stand out to me.  Recently Thomas  (also known as Didymus - rather think I'd go by Thomas at that point, too!) made me pause and reflect. I've always heard him referred to as Doubting Thomas because he was the disciple who refused to believe that Jesus had actually resurrected and had shown Himself to others unless he got to see the nail marks in Jesus's hand and put his hand in Jesus's pierced side  (More on that in John 20:24-29).  Thinking back, I'm not sure I have ever heard Thomas painted in a positive light.  I've grown up in a Christian home, in Christian schools through graduation, a pastor's kid, and the list goes on --- and not one memory came to me that made Thomas out to be a great guy.  Still, somehow he was chosen as one of Jesus's disciples, right?  That list wasn't very long so he h...

Someone I care about very much mentioned something yesterday that I haven't been able to get off of my mind.  This person had shown me two statements that were very sad and negative.  They told me that is their identity.  I quickly told this person that it is not WHO they are, but I understand that, at this point in their life, they identify with those statements. And that got me to thinking since then...who are we really?  Are we numbers on a scale?  Years gone by?  Someone's sibling?  Child?  Aunt/Uncle?  Co-worker?  Are we just those things?  Maybe also a voter number, a social security number and the person behind a credit card number? I identify with a lot of those things, those people, those numbers, BUT they are NOT my identity.   I AM an Aunt, a sister, a child, an employee, a friend, an Escalante. I have a social security number, credit card and bank account numbers, even a house number. But those things...