- But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,whose confidence is in him.They will be like a tree planted by the waterthat sends out its roots by the stream.It does not fear when heat comes;its leaves are always green.It has no worries in a year of droughtand never fails to bear fruit.
I've talked a little about it. Shared a little about it. Told a little on social media about it.
But the deep things - the things that have kept me up at night and brought torrents of tears? Nope, only a few have heard those things. We don't all have to hear everyone's deepest hurts, frustrations, and pains. We just need to realize that at any moment, someone might be living some of their deepest struggles.
I don't know when life is going to calm down. I wish there was an end date so I could look forward to that at least. But, like I've told my few friends that I've shared the deep stuff with lately, I know that at some point down the road, I will look around and see the beauty in the day, see the glory of the moment, and realize "I made it through." But, I can tell you, it's hasn't happened yet.
Every...okay, most mornings (gotta be honest - okay, I don't HAVE to be, but it is wise and the Lord prefers it!) I ride my recumbent bike by a window that overlooks one of my magnolia trees. I love that tree! It's a beauty all year, strong and majestic, but for approximately one glorious month in April/May it blooms the most glorious magenta and blush colored flowers! I love watching the buds pop out from a fuzzy pod to those gorgeous blooms. They signify the new life after a long season of cold and darkness.
But then the rainy, windy days come and blow all those blooms from my beautiful tree and litter the ground! In the past years I've been bummed out by that, but this year I looked out one day and thought, "Wow, look at that. I have the most beautiful yard confetti ever!"
Change of perspective? Perhaps. Or maybe it's just that I'm as weird as my sister thinks I am! (Don't tell her I admitted to that!)
Yesterday I looked out that same window and saw something that made me stare harder. Just two blooms remained on the tree. The rest of the branches held budding leaves, but two stubborn blooms weren't quite ready to move on. They weren't ready to relinquish their hold on the life they'd grown accustomed to, to the life source they needed.
My life has resembled my beloved magnolia trees of late. It's seemed that everything I've done, worked hard for, or even my family's health, has laid like yard confetti, spread all over the ground. And then, when it seemed like it wouldn't - couldn't - get worse, someone mowed right over it and turned it into mulch! I'm telling you - life has been ROUGH!
But I thought about something as I watched some blooms flutter to the earth the other morning...I'm a lot like that magnolia tree. Beautiful things come and go from my life, some tangible, some not so much, like a loved one's health. I've watched a lot of things fall from my "branches" lately and return to the "earth" only to be mowed down - never to be returned to me again. I've mourned the losses. I've cried. I've sobbed. I've had heated arguments with God. I've sat dejected in silence.
Gently the Lord reminded me that after the blooms fall away from the branches, leaves form. And when those leaves are fully formed, they are strong! Sturdy! Shade-giving, sheltering, leaves!
All because, the season WILL change.
In the fall, those sturdy, strong leaves will give way to gravity and will be yard confetti once more.
BUT, I'm a BRANCH on God's tree. All of those things that have fallen away and were "mulched" back into the earth, feed that tree. God is feeding me with all of these circumstances. He's using the good, the nasty, the frustrating, the painful, the most soul-crushing moments I'm enduring to feed me. He's taking that yard confetti, turning it into LIFE.
I'm still, like the video of the Grinch attempting yoga, "a little messed up", but I'm a part of the family of God, a part of His family tree. I'm gonna be just fine.
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