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Burnt Cookies

We've all heard the saying, "There is no use crying over spilled milk," or some variation of it. What about, "There is no use crying over burnt cookies."?  Because I did just that last night.

 Sounds crazy, huh?  It was one of those moments where the weight of my whole adult life came crashing down as my cookies were burning.  Let me explain a little...

 I LOVE to bake.  (Well, I guess you didn't need THAT clarification.)  Since late last year, my oven has been slowly getting harder and harder to work with...only one side would bake well and it was impossible to bake a cake evenly.  Lately it got worse and a friend and her husband found another one on Craigslist.  I was using it for the first time last night.  My sister had cooked frozen pizzas without incident.  Needless to say since you have probably read the title...it still didn't work right for my cookies. :(

 The outsides crisped, then burnt, never allowing the insides to bake correctly.  Two trays side by side - one with a crispy cookie in the corner, the rest doughy.  The other much more crispy with doughy centers.  Now, I had tweaked my recipe this time around, but it is something that I had tried before...

 But the crying didn't come from the burnt cookies, but what they represented...a busy life that leaves little room for my passions.  If I weren't so busy, I would have had time to practice on the new oven, learn its quirks and adjust.  But, some of the cookies were to be for a friend's birthday and the others for our annual luau on Saturday.  Now I have no cookies for my friend and have to rethink the luau desserts.  

 I have a room full of baking supplies, but don't seem to have time to bake for fun.  I have a room full of scrapbooking supplies, but don't seem to have time to work in there.  I have a cabinet full of movies, but rarely get to pull them out.  It all hit me at once as I was crying over a burnt cookie.

 Am I whining?  Maybe a little.  Am I looking for sympathy?  Maybe a little.  Am I a quitter? I was last night.  I quit.  I cried.  I went on a walk.  Then, I returned to work on another project for a trip I'm going on next week.

 How do I clear up my schedule for my passions?  I don't think I do---at least not right now. The jobs I have I need. The projects I volunteer for are important.  As I sat on the porch last night, I just kept coming back to the fact that though I love many things, I am not humanly capable of doing all of those things.  Cookies, scrapbooking, movies will and, appropriately so, always take a back seat to loving my nephews, leading the kids at church and work. 

 And money for the beautiful new oven and a relaxing vacation may never come to me.  And, what about the bakery I have always dreamed about?  Might not happen either...  Am I throwing in the baking utensils and quitting?  No.  Just being sad about the "now"...  I don't know what the future holds and I hope it holds all of those fun things I just mentioned.  But, my "now" doesn't currently include these things...

 In Hebrews 11, it lists a bunch of great people of great faith and I am brought back to these verses at the end of the chapter: These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised, since God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.

I am promised eternal life if I love the Lord with all my heart.  I was not promised a fancy oven and perfect cookies.  *Sigh*  

 In the end, eternal life one day is worth the burnt cookies right now...

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