Skip to main content

Frustrated Dreams?

Yesterday I was brought to tears by a simple Facebook Messenger exchange which actually started out as ME sending something funny to a friend to cheer HER up!  The conversation moved past the funniness and she was asking me about my plans for when my boss retires.

 I've played that over and over in my head and still don't have a definite answer for that.  I do know God knows my needs and when they'll be needed so I'm not very worried about it right now.  But, I told her that I do know that I never set out for my job as an assistant to be permanent.  It was a temporary job that just ended up heading into 12+ years!  I also told her I don't think I ever became what I thought I'd grow up to be!

 She asked does anyone really?

 I know how I got to this job is NOT what I expected for myself.  Let's see...As a younger girl, I would often say I would be a teacher when I grew up.  At some point, that changed and up until I was somewhere in Junior High, I was going to be the first female umpire in the MLB.  I grew up watching baseball and thought it needed more women involved!  In High School, I began to think full time ministry was where I'd head much to the chagrin of my English teacher at my tiny Baptist school who didn't think women belonged pastoring.  (Yeah, we might have butt heads on this topic and there was at least one paper written by me arguing my point!)  After I graduated, I was unsure where I was heading so I ended up working at Hallmark and then Party Works, the later I ended up purchasing and running for 7 years.  And, of course, I've always wanted to be a writer. 

 So, I told her I guess I never fit into one box.

 Then she brought me to tears.  She said she wanted to remind me that I AM a writer because I spread the word about Jesus daily, that I AM like a pastor as I guide others, and I probably AM an armchair umpire while watching baseball!  She then said that I AM living my dreams, just not necessarily earning a paycheck from them.

 What are you dreaming about becoming?  I realized that I've already become what I was dreaming, but I needed different lenses to see it.

 The world wants to tell us we're not talented enough, we need more money or education, we're not fit enough, we're not beautiful enough, we're not....we're not....we're not.

 But, by this little conversation, I was reminded this week that I AM...I am because HE IS.  God is the one who puts dreams in my hearts.  He provides ways to see those dreams come to fruition.  The world wants me to fit in their little box they've created.  But, I don't fit in one.  I live in His Word which opens up eternal life!  No box needed for that. ❤

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Unemployed - Part Two

In my last post I mentioned this would be the "rest of the story". I realized a bit ago that this actually is just the middle of the story as God hasn't shown me the "rest" yet. Again, I'm not going to go through and edit this. Again, I'm just being real, typos and all. Where we left off, I'd left my job and now you understand why more fully. It was my mental health or working for her. I chose health. A few weeks before I left, I'd heard a song by my current favorite band, Unspoken. If you know me well, you'll know that I latch onto one specific band or artist and stick with them on a constant loop of their songs until another band sneaks in. I've been listening to Unspoken on that loop for about six months now. Coincidence? Nah. I worked for her for five months. One month prior the Lord started infiltrating my head with life-giving music. He knew.  One song, Sleep in the Storm, hit me hard a few weeks ago. It is the telling of the story ...
Post a Comment
Read more

What's in a Name?

Her name is Janice.  Who? The homeless woman who lives in the alley across the street from my work. She has a cart and a small suitcase always by her side. She always sleeps sitting up - at least anytime I see her. I've taken her a bag of water and some snacks once. I pray for her a lot. Until yesterday, I'd only spoken to her once - the time I dropped off the water and snacks. I told her my name and asked her hers. She spoke it quietly, barely above a whisper.  Yesterday I saw her standing at the end of the alley rather than sleeping in the back of it. I dug through my purse and pulled out two fives. I unrolled my window and drove up to her at the alley. I called her name to get her to come to me. Her head shot up and she just stared at me. She seemed shocked to be called that or that I remembered her. Then she came to me and we talked and I handed her the money. A few seconds after she left my car, I heard the manager of another local business call her by her name and ask ho...
Post a Comment
Read more

Thank the Lord seasons change!

But blessed is the one who trusts in the L ord , whose confidence is in him. They will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit. Jeremiah 17:7-8   Life hasn't been super easy lately. Like-it's been hard. Personally harder than I can remember it being in longer than...well, I don't know. I've talked a little about it. Shared a little about it. Told a little on social media about it. But the deep things - the things that have kept me up at night and brought torrents of tears? Nope, only a few have heard those things. We don't all have to hear everyone's deepest hurts, frustrations, and pains. We just need to realize that at any moment, someone might be living some of their deepest struggles. I don't know when life is going to calm down. I wish there was an end date so I could look forward to that...
Post a Comment
Read more