I had a mini-meltdown last night. Yep, a seemingly simple decision about whether or not I should get involved in something left me in a puddle. Now, I'll give you that I'm an emotional person. But, I'm pretty good about decisions. Sheesh, I'm almost always the one who has to decide where we're gonna eat in our family or we'd starve! 😂 But this one I couldn't handle. It wasn't life or death. It just had some time sensitivity to it.
I was messaging with my sister after I decided that I just wasn't able to do what had been presented to me. I told her that I just seem to be flailing on everything I should be doing and that was why I kinda just gave up and have been chilling on the couch each night with my new Netflix obsession. (See my blog post from a few days ago for more on that.)
She reminded me that this time of year that it is common to feel like a failure (again, see that last blog post - and she hasn't even read it!) and that everyone needs to recharge - even ME! What?! But I'm part Wonder Woman, part Energizer Bunny! I can do it all! I don't need to recharge....or so I thought.
But, as the tears flowed, I realized how depleted I was. Nothing major is happening in my life, my time with the Lord is secure and well, I'm attending church, I have great people surrounding me. But, that still has not stopped the feeling like I'm not doing something right...or I should be doing more.
For me, that is a voice I have to constantly push back into it's cubical and remind that it doesn't get to control me. I'm just one constantly on the go, constantly helping if possible. And that voice telling me I'm not doing enough or not doing it well enough gets very loud at times.
I came across Mark 12:41-44 this week in my time with the Lord and really needed to see it. The poor widow was in the temple and she gave two cooper coins in the offering. Others had come before her and gave large amounts. Looking at her literal few cents, it might have seemed insignificant. But, Jesus, knew its significance. He said that others had given out of their wealth, but she had given out of her poverty.
Usually that scripture is used to remind us to give in church. But, this time it took a different meaning for me. I only need to continue to give to the Lord out of "my poverty-all I have to live on" and He will use it. Emotionally I'm drained right now and that is okay. He isn't asking me to be 100% 24/7. He is asking that, even at my lowest, I just give all that I have. HE will turn that into more than I can imagine...HE will give me the strength I need...
I hate when people say to give something 110%. THAT ISN'T POSSIBLE! And, I'm so grateful that my Savior doesn't require that. He just asks that I give from what I do have. And not to hold back. Trust Him. He is the one that turned 5 loaves and 2 fish into a meal to feed over 5,000 people, remember?
I was messaging with my sister after I decided that I just wasn't able to do what had been presented to me. I told her that I just seem to be flailing on everything I should be doing and that was why I kinda just gave up and have been chilling on the couch each night with my new Netflix obsession. (See my blog post from a few days ago for more on that.)
She reminded me that this time of year that it is common to feel like a failure (again, see that last blog post - and she hasn't even read it!) and that everyone needs to recharge - even ME! What?! But I'm part Wonder Woman, part Energizer Bunny! I can do it all! I don't need to recharge....or so I thought.
But, as the tears flowed, I realized how depleted I was. Nothing major is happening in my life, my time with the Lord is secure and well, I'm attending church, I have great people surrounding me. But, that still has not stopped the feeling like I'm not doing something right...or I should be doing more.
For me, that is a voice I have to constantly push back into it's cubical and remind that it doesn't get to control me. I'm just one constantly on the go, constantly helping if possible. And that voice telling me I'm not doing enough or not doing it well enough gets very loud at times.
I came across Mark 12:41-44 this week in my time with the Lord and really needed to see it. The poor widow was in the temple and she gave two cooper coins in the offering. Others had come before her and gave large amounts. Looking at her literal few cents, it might have seemed insignificant. But, Jesus, knew its significance. He said that others had given out of their wealth, but she had given out of her poverty.
Usually that scripture is used to remind us to give in church. But, this time it took a different meaning for me. I only need to continue to give to the Lord out of "my poverty-all I have to live on" and He will use it. Emotionally I'm drained right now and that is okay. He isn't asking me to be 100% 24/7. He is asking that, even at my lowest, I just give all that I have. HE will turn that into more than I can imagine...HE will give me the strength I need...
I hate when people say to give something 110%. THAT ISN'T POSSIBLE! And, I'm so grateful that my Savior doesn't require that. He just asks that I give from what I do have. And not to hold back. Trust Him. He is the one that turned 5 loaves and 2 fish into a meal to feed over 5,000 people, remember?
The Widow’s Offering - Mark 12:41-44
41 Jesus sat down opposite the place where the offerings were put and watched the crowd putting their money into the temple treasury. Many rich people threw in large amounts. 42 But a poor widow came and put in two very small copper coins, worth only a few cents.
43 Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, “Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. 44 They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.”
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