Notes to Self...and whoever's listening

Last February I spent the month stressed and worried about what I was supposed to be doing with my life.  I was working full-time as an assistant to an attorney, working part-time as a Thirty-One Consultant and part-time as a Chaplain at a retirement home.  Plus, my life as an aunt, sister and daughter were pretty amazingly full and chaotic. Add trying to be a good friend and running a bible study and you could see where the stress was overwhelming. I prayed and prayed and the answer that finally came was not what I expected nor what I hoped.  The clear decision was to resign chaplaincy.  For 7 1/2 years, I got to know the most amazing bunch of seniors and the staff that cared for them. I laughed with them so hard, held their hands as they were dying, had long discussions about life, family and the past with them and prepared countless sermons to deliver for their Sunday services.  It was a job I loved dearly. I couldn’t understand why THIS was the best opti...

We like having choices.  Ice cream comes in just about every flavor imaginable, then you have to decide what type of cone or bowl!  Burgers have become gourmet dishes these days.  Even picking out a bottle water can take a while!  Then we have the Coke machines that have EVERY flavor available.  Ever get stuck behind someone trying to decide which flavor to choose all the while missing your movie???  Yeah, me either! We do NOT like having our choices limited, either.  Insurance companies seem to decide whether people get medications or procedures anymore, not the doctors and the patients themselves.  We do NOT like when costs go up leaving us no choice but to pay the higher fees.  Here in Illinois, we do NOT like being forced to pay tolls all throughout our state! You are given one specific choice daily.  That choice often decides the course of your day.  That choice can even change the course of someone else's day. We get to ...

Recently I took a day off and took the boys to Dave & Buster's near Schaumburg for some time away at the tail end of their Spring Break.  We left that morning, grabbed Dunkin Donuts and my very important large iced tea, picked up some new sandals for Lucas (that boy sure can wear through a pair of shoes!) and set off!  We had a ball playing games for a while, then had a great meal in the restaurant.  The boys enjoyed some special drinks they love to get when we go and I got more iced tea! It was a great day!  I LOVE spending time with these two and that day was perfect!  Even the highway wasn't too busy!  Once we got back to town, we made a quick stop at Target and, at the check out, I asked the boys if they were thirsty.  They chose a drink and I started looking for another tea.  Yeah, I love iced tea!  Since I gave up soda 2 years ago, iced tea is my go-to.  As I looked for the tea, though, I was drawn to a bottle of wat...

It is finished. (John 19:30) Three of the most haunting words in the Bible.   The last three words recorded before Jesus was overcome by death. And the three greatest words that were able to bring us life - eternal life. John 19:28-30 are very difficult passages to read.  The entire story is difficult.  I'm one who struggles to grasp the magnitude of evil and how anyone can knowingly inflict pain and harm on another living being.  I cringe at t.v. shows.  I have to close my eyes and wait for someone to tell me when it's okay to look again.   So reading this passage (and any of the other gospel accounts) kills me every time.  His murder was senseless in that His accusers were just jealous of Him and angry because they did not understand His purpose.  His murder was violent and merciless.  His treatment was inhumane. But, His death also shows a level of love that can never be repeated again. Verse 28 says, "Later, knowin...

The evolution of the Apostle Peter is nothing short of miraculous.  Today, a wise filmmaker might even consider making a movie about his life.   I'm no bible scholar and would never claim to be, but here is a little of what I personally know about him before he left behind his business and followed Jesus: *He was a fisherman, seemingly a successful one. *He had a brother and they both worked together. *He also worked with some other friends. *Acts 4:13 describes them as unschooled, ordinary men. A pretty average story for that time, I'd say.  But, then, Jesus walks by and his life starts down a path that even Hollywood couldn't make up. One day when he and his partners are out working, Jesus sees them and asks to use his boat (Luke 5) so he could teach the people.  The crowd had gathered and He needed to get off the land in order for everyone to hear Him.  Peter obliges.  When Jesus is all done, He notices that Peter isn't having any luck ca...

Reading in John these past several weeks has been enlightening.  I've read it through before, but I'm always excited when I find new things that stand out to me.  Recently Thomas  (also known as Didymus - rather think I'd go by Thomas at that point, too!) made me pause and reflect. I've always heard him referred to as Doubting Thomas because he was the disciple who refused to believe that Jesus had actually resurrected and had shown Himself to others unless he got to see the nail marks in Jesus's hand and put his hand in Jesus's pierced side  (More on that in John 20:24-29).  Thinking back, I'm not sure I have ever heard Thomas painted in a positive light.  I've grown up in a Christian home, in Christian schools through graduation, a pastor's kid, and the list goes on --- and not one memory came to me that made Thomas out to be a great guy.  Still, somehow he was chosen as one of Jesus's disciples, right?  That list wasn't very long so he h...

Someone I care about very much mentioned something yesterday that I haven't been able to get off of my mind.  This person had shown me two statements that were very sad and negative.  They told me that is their identity.  I quickly told this person that it is not WHO they are, but I understand that, at this point in their life, they identify with those statements. And that got me to thinking since then...who are we really?  Are we numbers on a scale?  Years gone by?  Someone's sibling?  Child?  Aunt/Uncle?  Co-worker?  Are we just those things?  Maybe also a voter number, a social security number and the person behind a credit card number? I identify with a lot of those things, those people, those numbers, BUT they are NOT my identity.   I AM an Aunt, a sister, a child, an employee, a friend, an Escalante. I have a social security number, credit card and bank account numbers, even a house number. But those things...