I'm a white girl of Hispanic/Caucasian origin.
I'm a pastor's kid, turned chaplain's kid.
I've lived in four states and many homes.
I had the privilege of attending a private school my whole life due to my parent's purposeful sacrifice.
I've stood in line in NYC for government cheese and powdered milk.
I've heard my parents worry about bills. Sheesh, I do that myself now!
I have always hated the term "white privilege" because it came across to me as though my family and I hadn't worked hard for what we had.
I've been reluctant to share the #blacklivesmatter hashtag because to me all lives matter.
I was taught not to see color, but to the see the heart of the person.
Enter the past week and everything I lived and learned has fallen at my feet and left me questioning.
In trying to not spew false sentiments or platitudes, I reached out to a friend I've known since high school. He, his sister, my brother and I all bowled together on Saturday mornings for years. Since being adults, our only real contact has been Facebook. Oh, yeah, and he's black. I asked him what he wanted from me. How I can help.
Some his answers left me in tears. Some of his answers nicked my heart. And some of his answers made me mad. Tears were for some personal opinions about me that weren't complimentary and I'm still processing that. They were words he meant. I'm an adult. I can deal with it. My heart hurt hearing some of his fight just being a black man trying to take care of his family. And the anger came from the fact that he was forced to fight.
So this week I've spent time listening and reading and trying desperately to hear over the noise. I've grown angry at the violence and even told him that I didn't think rioting and violence was necessary and he said that it was because 400 years later, they're tired of fighting the same fight. Peaceful person that I am, I still don't advocate violence as a means to much, but at least now I'm seeing the reason behind some of it. Some of the rioting has just been opportunistic people of all races looking to wreck havoc. But some of my fellow black brothers and sisters caught up in the violence have had their hurt overflow from somewhere deep inside--- maybe a family member lost to senseless police violence? maybe from being stopped time and time again by store owners because their skin was dark? maybe from having to explain to their children again why someone called them a derogatory name?
I'm starting to see.
I have seen why the #blacklivesmatter hashtag was necessary even though all lives in fact do matter. They see us, too. But right now they are asking for us to stand up for them. They need our voices to help drown out the inconsistencies in how they're treated. Like the analogy that I've seen floating around and my sister reminded me of again a few days ago, when Jesus left the 99 to find the 1, it wasn't because the 99 were any less important. It was because the 1 was in trouble. They needed Him right then. Us as white people are being begged by black people to step up, step out and find them, see them.
My friend told me he needed me to be uncomfortable. He needed me to stand up to my friends who were sharing lies or mis-truths or even racial comments, knowingly or not. I'm trying and I am definitely uncomfortable. Our world has ingrained in us to be politically correct 100% of the time, to never step on anyone's toes and to not speak up about things that aren't the movement of the day/week.
So here I am a really white girl with Hispanic roots and a love for her fellow man ready to listen and learn.
I'm gonna have to ask for some leniency because I'm new to this fight. I'm gonna say something stupid or misunderstand. I'm gonna have to say "I'm sorry" probably 400 more times. But I'm going to fight hard to not let the concern die down after the protests do.
In fact, in my efforts to not stop learning and looking for effective ways to help, I sent an email today in the beginning attempts to make something happen for change. I don't want to share more because the endeavor is so new that I'm still unsure about what it could entail. I just know that the Lord has prompted me this week and when HE speaks, it's important to listen.
What are you doing to be the change? Or even add some sort of change so that innocent lives aren't treated unfairly and that they don't die at the hands of a few power-hungry, color-sensitive people?
Here are a couple of articles this week that I found interesting and helpful on this topic:
Violence Never Works? Really?
Sports Announcer Loses His Job
The Bible is not a Prop
An Absolute Gift
I'm a pastor's kid, turned chaplain's kid.
I've lived in four states and many homes.
I had the privilege of attending a private school my whole life due to my parent's purposeful sacrifice.
I've stood in line in NYC for government cheese and powdered milk.
I've heard my parents worry about bills. Sheesh, I do that myself now!
I have always hated the term "white privilege" because it came across to me as though my family and I hadn't worked hard for what we had.
I've been reluctant to share the #blacklivesmatter hashtag because to me all lives matter.
I was taught not to see color, but to the see the heart of the person.
Enter the past week and everything I lived and learned has fallen at my feet and left me questioning.
In trying to not spew false sentiments or platitudes, I reached out to a friend I've known since high school. He, his sister, my brother and I all bowled together on Saturday mornings for years. Since being adults, our only real contact has been Facebook. Oh, yeah, and he's black. I asked him what he wanted from me. How I can help.
Some his answers left me in tears. Some of his answers nicked my heart. And some of his answers made me mad. Tears were for some personal opinions about me that weren't complimentary and I'm still processing that. They were words he meant. I'm an adult. I can deal with it. My heart hurt hearing some of his fight just being a black man trying to take care of his family. And the anger came from the fact that he was forced to fight.
So this week I've spent time listening and reading and trying desperately to hear over the noise. I've grown angry at the violence and even told him that I didn't think rioting and violence was necessary and he said that it was because 400 years later, they're tired of fighting the same fight. Peaceful person that I am, I still don't advocate violence as a means to much, but at least now I'm seeing the reason behind some of it. Some of the rioting has just been opportunistic people of all races looking to wreck havoc. But some of my fellow black brothers and sisters caught up in the violence have had their hurt overflow from somewhere deep inside--- maybe a family member lost to senseless police violence? maybe from being stopped time and time again by store owners because their skin was dark? maybe from having to explain to their children again why someone called them a derogatory name?
I'm starting to see.
I have seen why the #blacklivesmatter hashtag was necessary even though all lives in fact do matter. They see us, too. But right now they are asking for us to stand up for them. They need our voices to help drown out the inconsistencies in how they're treated. Like the analogy that I've seen floating around and my sister reminded me of again a few days ago, when Jesus left the 99 to find the 1, it wasn't because the 99 were any less important. It was because the 1 was in trouble. They needed Him right then. Us as white people are being begged by black people to step up, step out and find them, see them.
My friend told me he needed me to be uncomfortable. He needed me to stand up to my friends who were sharing lies or mis-truths or even racial comments, knowingly or not. I'm trying and I am definitely uncomfortable. Our world has ingrained in us to be politically correct 100% of the time, to never step on anyone's toes and to not speak up about things that aren't the movement of the day/week.
So here I am a really white girl with Hispanic roots and a love for her fellow man ready to listen and learn.
I'm gonna have to ask for some leniency because I'm new to this fight. I'm gonna say something stupid or misunderstand. I'm gonna have to say "I'm sorry" probably 400 more times. But I'm going to fight hard to not let the concern die down after the protests do.
In fact, in my efforts to not stop learning and looking for effective ways to help, I sent an email today in the beginning attempts to make something happen for change. I don't want to share more because the endeavor is so new that I'm still unsure about what it could entail. I just know that the Lord has prompted me this week and when HE speaks, it's important to listen.
What are you doing to be the change? Or even add some sort of change so that innocent lives aren't treated unfairly and that they don't die at the hands of a few power-hungry, color-sensitive people?
Here are a couple of articles this week that I found interesting and helpful on this topic:
Violence Never Works? Really?
Sports Announcer Loses His Job
The Bible is not a Prop
An Absolute Gift
Very insightful thoughts.
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