Notes to Self...and whoever's listening

  I've never been more humiliated in my life. I cried myself to sleep that night and woke up with tears in my eyes. When I left the appointment, I went to my happy place, Target, just because I couldn't go home just then. I needed time to let things filter through me. What happened? A chest x-ray. More specifically, an x-ray tech happened. I've had coughing fits for probably 10 years, but in the last 2 they have gotten progressively worse. I went to my primary several times. She addressed some allergy issues and thought that was all. Nope. She sent me to have a lung function test. I rated a 81% and "normal" is 80%-100% so I was told it wasn't a lung issue. So I was sent to an ENT (Ear, Nose & Throat) doctor.  Some of my frustration started before I met the x-ray tech. It started with the ENT doc. She did a test (way more uncomfortable than a Covid test, I might add) by sticking a tiny camera up my nose to check out my nasal cavities and my throat. Once tha...

  Let's start with some truths about me: 1. I'm an American. 2. I'm a Christian. 3. Politics upset me. I choose Republican to vote as it more closely mirrors what I believe - usually. 4. I voted for Trump. Both times. 5. I won't apologize for my beliefs. Sadly, those 5 truths have gotten me into a decent amount of arguments this past year, one just last night. One thing that hit me this morning as I was replaying last night's argument in my head is that I was frustrated with the other person because they only ever see their point and refuse to contemplate mine. Gently, the Lord asked if I do the same. Of course, I argued and said no at first. :) Then I stopped to replay the argument again...with that truth in mind.  Yeah, I wanted that person to see my way. I want that person to believe as I do. And I argued like I could possibly change their mind. It hit me that two things I really should avoid arguing about are God and politics. They are two things I'm passion...

If you know me even a little, you know church is a favorite place of mine. I grew up in a church. Literally. For three years in NYC, my dad pastored a Spanish-speaking church and we lived on the main floor of the church.  My father is a retired minister and chaplain. My grandfather was a minister. Even have a few grandmothers who were ministers. I, too, was a chaplain for about 8 years. One might say church is in my blood. Over the years, I've heard a lot of unkind things said about pastor's children. I even had one well-meaning youth leader pull me aside in junior high to remind me that I'm no better than anyone else and needed to remember that. Trust me, I do remember to this day. I do know that some pastor's kids were given free reign and were allowed to do what they wanted and receive little to no reprimands. That didn't fly with my parents. It probably helped me that I didn't have much of a rebellious bone in my body growing up. I left that to my siblings. ...

This time of year is beautiful in the Midwest. The weather is cooling, drawing us to our hoodies, cozy sweaters and long forgotten jeans. Yards are decorated with cornstalks, pumpkins and fancy scarecrows. On trash days, curbs are lined with bags and bags of dead leaves and other yard waste as home owners ready their home for the coming cold months. And then there are the trees. I've taken a walk the last few nights with Lucas around our neighborhood and enjoyed the changing foliage much more than my twelve year old nephew. I'm a picture person. He's a get it done kind of kid. I stop a LOT to admire scenery. His mind has already completed the walk and is on to his next video game. He is often a block ahead of me before he realizes I stopped to admire a pinecone on the ground or a beautiful leaf on the road. I saw this quote and it resonated with me again:    Isn't that great? Humans resist change. We have readily displayed that ever since Covid-19 disrupted our lives an...

 Ah, birthdays. This year's birthday has me equal parts appreciative, apprehensive and annoyed. I truly am appreciative for all that the Lord has given me, including the countless friends that have reached out to me all day long to wish me a great day. I'm appreciative of family, including a sister fighting her own pain today working to make my birthday dinner just right. I'm appreciative of loving uncles far away who called me to razz me about my age and wish me well. I have a LOT to appreciate, no doubt. I'm apprehensive because age brings new issues, like my brother and I discussing birthdays (his was yesterday) and then veering off course to talk about our carpel tunnel and how he's going to the doc today and I'm getting injections in my hands tomorrow. I'm apprehensive that I don't have a church home currently. I'm apprehensive that Covid is still here. I'm apprehensive because it's a bit of how I live, who I am. I'm annoyed with the...

 I had an "as for me and my house" moment this week. Ever had one of those? Of course, I'm not dealing with what Joshua had to deal with way back when those words were first uttered. I have never spied on foreign lands, reported back to Moses, then helped lead the charge in said land. Phew. That sounds like a lot of work! 😂😂 No, I just had a moment this week where it dawned on me that I haven't been taking Covid-19 precautions as I once had. Here is a post I shared on Facebook yesterday explaining a bit more:  I hate Covid. I know I'm not the only one. I just realized how much I do last night...or maybe I just re-realized (yeah, that's a word cuz I said so!) it last night. I've been lax in my stand against Covid. Yes, I still wear my mask (and if you choose not to, please distance from my family until this is over), I have made it a point not to go inside of people's houses instead meeting friends on their porches, I wash my hands all the time and ca...

In these past few months, everyone has an opinion, Popular or not. They range from conspiracy theories that make as much sense as Bigfoot (who my father just told me wants to be called by his real name, Darryl. He watches too much tv.) to political thoughts that border on insanity to average "it could maybe be this way, right?" It's exhausting and neverending.  So why have I asked you here today? To share my opinion, of course. My point of view if that makes you continue to read and not click off the browser right now. An IDEA if that sits any better with you. What if...just imagine with me...that children don't NEED to go back to school right now. Of course, they need learning. I don't have completely irrational thoughts!  I have seen lots of social media posts about how much children need to go back to school and that their mental health depends on it. I've seen it argued that they have to have their sports, their extracurriculars, their friends. I've ev...